Update

Hello all, I hope that you are well! I just wanted to give you a quick update. I have been blogging on WordPress for several years and then a little over a year ago, I started blogging on Medium as well. It has become fairly time-consuming to keep up with both platforms, so I am in the process of moving all of my work over to Medium. If you have an account there, please let me know! I hope that we stay in touch and thank you all for the support and love. There are so many talented writers here!

The Smell of Gardenia

I was walking through a store the other day when I came across a familiar scent. I was sure it was gardenia and as I walked around to find out, it sure was! A whole flood of memories came to mind.

When I was in middle school, I wore two perfume scents, gardenia, and sweet pea. I really loved both of those floral-smelling scents. Gardenia was the one that I wore almost daily, but sweet pea was used often as well.

Memories

My middle school years were very challenging for me. I was extremely shy, which was even a surprise to me because when I was in elementary school I was always silly, goofy, and very outgoing.

Like many teenagers, I became conscious of my appearance, my abilities, and my self-esteem. I became very withdrawn and chose to talk mainly with the other teens who I already knew from elementary school. I felt very socially awkward and out of place.

The scent of gardenia takes me back to those years and although most of the memories were unpleasant ones, this scent holds positive ones for me as well. It marks the progress that I’ve made from those days. It also was a scent that was “with” me for many years. It became a part of me every day. Wearing gardenia was comforting to me.

Lost in Thought

It’s amazing how a certain scent can transport us to a different time and place. It can bring us a blast from the past. There are a lot of scents and even flavors that when I taste them, they bring back so many memories.

Anything that plays on our senses has a lot of power to create memories. We often remember things that elicit strong emotions, whether that be a person, event, flavor, or smell.

I stood there in the store reliving my past and overcome with many emotions. Today, I don’t wear any sort of perfume or scent. I have become sensitive to smells and they are overpowering to me, but I still love the scent of gardenia and I was thankful for this little trip down memory lane.

What I Should Have Done Before Having a Roommate

Many years ago, after college, I decided to move into an apartment with my best friend whom I had met at my university. We got along great and thought it would be fun and a good idea to room together for a year.

Before moving out, I had always been at home. This was my first experience out in the real world completely responsible for everything. Overall, I loved the experience and what it taught me, however, if I were to have a roommate again, there are several things that I would do differently.

Thoughts

Any sort of housing arrangement needs to have a set of rules to ensure that everyone is happy and pulling their weight. Sure, circumstances will happen as that is life, but to have some sort of rules and boundaries would have been so helpful.

I assumed because we were best friends that we didn’t need such a thing, but I was wrong. My parents always warned me about rooming with friends. They told me that many don’t stay friends for long. I thought it wasn’t going to happen to me. I was wrong.

Togetherness 

Doing everything together is fun, but also stressful. There needs to be time apart and also time alone. It’s easy to get caught up in the “every day is a sleepover” when you’re rooming with close friends. Too much togetherness can cause problems.

We started to argue more and there weren’t any rules that we had made for the house regarding guests, cooking, cleaning, etc. Life would have been easier if we made some basic rules since we both were sharing the home.

A Disaster

Rooming together ended up becoming a disaster. We started shutting down on communication. I was dealing with health issues and being so young at the time it really hit me mentally and physically. My roommate was dealing with relationship issues and with us being so young and not as mature, things just fell apart.

As a full year approached, I decided not to renew the lease. We both moved out and lost touch for several years. She was upset that I chose to leave and not renew with her, but I am very affected by my surroundings, and I wasn’t thriving there. I felt guilty for this decision, I felt like I had failed, I lost my best friend and my independence at the same time.

A Big Surprise 

About 5 years after we moved out, I got a text message from my former roommate. I was so shocked! She wanted to meet up and talk. I agreed, and we met up and caught up with each other, there was still so much left unsaid. So many arguments that were never resolved. We decided to move forward and forget what happened. We started fresh. Usually, I like to revisit what happened so that we can work things out, but because the situation was old, we felt it was best to not relive it.

It’s amazing what a decade can do. We’ve been friends again for three years now! We have both matured a lot and have been able to move past our younger years. She has now become one of my closest friends! I’m so thankful and never did I expect this ending.

Although I’m very happy with the fact that we could save our friendship, I would be very hesitant to move in with another friend. I would want to live alone or with a significant other. I learned so much about myself that year and about life in general.

I Went on a Dopamine Detox for a Day

You may have recently read my article on discovering the concept of a dopamine detox. I decided to be brave and do a detox for one day. I wanted to share my feelings and experience with you!

I was very hesitant to start this detox. A few fellow writers suggested that I break up the detox into segments so that I don’t detox from everything all at once. That could make one incredibly unhappy! Unhappiness is a very difficult feeling to sit with. To give you some background, a dopamine detox is limiting or taking away something that you use for a dopamine “fix” or rush. Dopamine is what brings you that little boost of happiness and pleasure.

I planned on doing the dopamine detox on Monday, August 7th. I was going to start going without just my phone. My phone gets checked way too many times a day, I feel a compulsion to always check it and that is something that I definitely don’t want. It is a very strong feeling, almost like a lack of control.

The night before, I was feeling incredibly anxious. I almost felt like I was on the verge of a panic attack. I was anticipating what it would feel like to be without my cell phone for an entire day. To some people, this is so easy to do, but for me, I am way too attached to my cell phone.

August 7th

On Monday, I woke up at 6 a.m., I usually immediately get my phone and check my text messages, social media, and my e-mail. I also spend time reading articles from my fellow writers! I will then hop over and check out my weather app. I couldn’t on Monday, because it was the start of my 24-hour dopamine detox! I got up and put my phone on the charger in another room so that I wouldn’t be tempted to touch it.

I proceeded with my morning routine feeling very out of place. Being out of my routine gave me a lot of anxiety. I kept wanting to reach for my phone and check if any notifications were on it. I was also truly missing the ability to read articles from all of my favorite writers!

All morning, I had strong compulsions to check my phone, but ironically, I felt peace not checking it or giving in to temptation. I enjoyed feeling more in control and as a result, I was feeling a lot more centered. My phone stayed in the back of my mind, but I kept productive, and it kept my mind focused on other things.

Feelings

Surprisingly, as the day went on, it became easier to not check my phone. I knew that it was going to be a difficult challenge, but I was feeling more at ease with each passing hour. It felt more peaceful without checking my phone around the clock. I didn’t feel as strong of a compulsion, and I felt in control and less anxious.

I felt happy that I was in charge and not feeling compelled to check my phone. The urge to check my cell phone was overpowering and each time that I didn’t give in to that little dopamine fix, the easier it was to stay separated from it. It was almost as if each time I checked my phone, it was a little happiness boost, a little escape from reality that kept me coming back for more.

Thoughts

I felt empowered and inspired that I was able to create a plan and stick to it. Of course, this was only a 24-hour period, but it was a major win for me. I am used to constantly needing my phone. The next day, I was excited that the challenge was over and that I could resume my normal daily routine with my cell phone by my side, but all of those feelings of lack of control crept back in.

I would love to try this dopamine detox for several days, or even a week if I feel brave enough! I’m sure that the longer I do the detox, the better the results would be, and that I could possibly turn this habit around. In the future, I am strongly considering doing a daily detox of my phone until I no longer feel the need to constantly be checking it all the time.

If there is something that you feel that you “need’ in your daily life, consider limiting it or completely going without it and see how it makes you feel. It will no doubt be challenging but could also have the greatest reward!

I’ve Always Been Called an Old Soul

Have you ever been called an old soul before? I have been called one my whole life and I used to take offense to it when I was much younger, however, I see it as more of a compliment now.

I have always felt very different from other people. I seem to have interests that are unlike those of others. I know that differences are what makes this world go round, however, it is to the point where I almost feel like I am living in the wrong era! I have often felt misunderstood by others. Though from what I gather, it is not that uncommon to feel this way.

Growing Up

When I was younger, I spent a lot more time with adults than I did with children. It was a decent mix, but my parents always told me that I enjoyed spending time with adults and always gravitated toward them. I learned a lot of mannerisms from adults, even down to the way that I sat in a chair.

During my teen years, I was very shy. I felt like I couldn’t relate much to my peers even though I did have a circle of friends. It created a lot of anxiety for me to feel so different from others. I had no interest in what teens typically have an interest in. I felt that something must have been wrong with me.

Continuing into adulthood, I heard “you are an old soul” more times than I can count. It never sat well with me in the beginning, but I realized that it could also be a compliment. I decided that I was going to look at this remark in a positive light.

Life

I am in my late thirties, and I have experienced a lot in my life for my age. I’ve definitely learned a lot of lessons, yet I have many still left to learn.

Perhaps a lot of writers might be old souls as they tend to be drawn towards connection, deep thinking, self-awareness, and sharing words of wisdom.

Have you ever been called an old soul?